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I’ve always struggled with leadership talks about time management, as the advice seems to fall to pieces when you add a sick kid or a neighbor in need.

I love the idea of intentionality and discipline with a schedule, but I wish we spoke more about how to handle interruptions or capacity management or—as a friend said to me on a call this morning—the tension between ambition and contentment.

This is especially heavy on my mind as we’ve entered 2026, a year in which David and I are settling into wildly new family and work dynamics. In addition, we want to maintain and even grow friendships, be available to the needs of our community, have a thriving marriage, be fit and feel energized, save and invest, raise happy kids who become contributing adults, respond timely and thoughtfully to all emails and text messages, exercise the dog, and maybe sometimes take a shower. 

It’s so dumb.

(I often say that I just want to move to the woods circa the 1800s, where middle school birthday parties are not a thing.)

Anyway, I remember the freedom I felt when hearing life’s not about balancing but instead about juggling—and that you just need to know which balls are plastic and which are glass. 

Related, my friend who also has seven kids just sent me this: 

So, I thought about this email list and all of you out there juggling.

And I emailed some of my friends whose lives I deeply respect, who are intentional spouses and parents and business-people and community members, asking how they “do it all.”

I’ve compiled some of their thoughts below. 

Among this group, there are real estate agents with wacky schedules, foster and adoptive parents of children with special needs, spouses who travel often or even deploy, and those with heavy community projects, surprise twins, or deep grief. These are people who are IN IT and are trying to live their lives well. (And as their friend, I can say I so respect how they’ve chosen to do so!) 

Overall, I found that for this group of people, it’s less about maximizing time and more about stewarding it—being super intentional about how they spend their minutes and their days.

Here are a few other themes I found amongst this group: 

→ They use internal filters, usually based on individual purpose or even mission/identity statements, to determine when to say yes or no. 

From mama-of-six Amy Arnold: “I think about my days in terms of what holds value, not just what fills time. So my yeses and nos are shaped by that, but also by the kind of life I want to steward. They hinge on harmony and priority. I don’t love the word balance, because it feels unrealistic. Life constantly tips the scales depending on the season and the demands. Harmony makes more sense to me, as it allows for different parts of life to be louder or heavier at times, but still connected, still forming something whole.”

Brady Powell, a commercial real estate agent, says he typically says yes to things that lead to relationships.

My pastor Tyler Hannel says that he uses a job and personal identity/mission statement to help decide on commitments, but for big opportunities that feel out of left field, he will still pray through them a bit before saying no, saying it’s important to be “prophetically curious.” 

As a therapist, mama, and someone who is super involved in our community, Hannah Rinehart says both she and her husband are natural yes people, so they have to really stop and think through something before actually committing. 

On the other hand, my husband David is a natural no person, so we’ve learned that we have to stop and decide what would actually make something a yes. 

→ They have a weekly meeting with their spouse to discuss calendars, budgets, and decisions. 

For Amy and her husband, that’s Saturday mornings over coffee. For David and me, that’s Sunday evenings after dinner.

We keep a shared note on our phone of things to talk through and decisions to make, ranging from kid birthday party RSVPs to giant financial decisions. 

Avery Harrison, whose schedule as a real estate agent isn’t always straight forward and whose wife stays home with their three kids under three, had this mic-drop thing to say: “My wife's calendar is as important as my own.” 

→ They schedule rest. 

Pretty consistently, people said that rest meant intentional quiet time alone or with a spouse/friends. 

Sometimes, this is a Sabbath, 24 hours or so of no work-work or even housework but instead a focus on rest, worship, and delight. (This resource is so helpful if you’re interested in Sabbath from a Christian-faith perspective.) 

But counselor and mom-to-ten (yes, ten) Martha Cook says, “There’s a difference between leisure and rest.” For instance, she was gifted a trip to the Dominican recently and said that while it was non-stop fun, nothing about it was restful. 

Johna Castro, who works full time as a Director of Marketing, says, “Time spent with community is essential to avoiding burnout. I try to have at least 1-2 group friend hangs on the books per month. Without them, I feel like a withering vine.”

They also aim for intentional time away. Amy takes a solo sabbath trip each year to write. Johna tries to get away once with her husband and once with their nuclear family each year. Many mentioned planning for trips or dates or even just walks with their spouses. 

And from Avery, he says it’s all about stepping away from his phone. “Mostly if I can do anything without the buzz of work pressure in the background of whatever I'm doing, it feels great lol.” 

→ They plan their week and even their days based on intention and make sure to prioritize well. 

For instance, Hilary Fezza, who works in development for a non-profit, stacks her meetings so she can have longer, uninterrupted chunks of time to focus on head-down work. 

Johna gives herself four main tasks to accomplish each day of the week.

Laura Balfour, owner of her own branding agency, has intentional focuses each day, with a schedule something like this: 

Brady says, “Because of the support of my wife, I can go to networking events outside ‘typical’ work hours, but I try to make those hours up with the family at other ‘non-typical’ hours.” 

And from Avery: “All my business problems go away when I intentionally commit to generating business from 9-1pm at least 4 days a week.” 

I remember my father-in-law talking about the “ministry of availability,” this idea that he didn’t want to be so overbooked that he couldn’t be available if someone had a need. I think about that often, although we admittedly are not great at that. 

We did, years ago, start implementing the scheduling of white space, these nights in the week (usually 2-3) where we know we don’t have commitments. This gives us much-needed reset time at home while also building in that buffer in case there’s something that comes up that we should attend to. 

→ They use systems. 

Hannah swears by these paper planners. 

Laura uses Calendly and is very intentional with her availability, ensuring she never has meetings booked when she doesn’t want to have meetings. 

She also raved about Kendra Adachi, known as “The Lazy Genius,” and her book, The Plan. 

I use my friend Amanda Goetz’s idea of Power Hours: Whenever I have a fleeting thought of something I need to do (that will take more than ten seconds, in which case I should just do it), I write it in an Apple Note. This could range from scheduling a doctor’s appointment to writing a thank you note to signing up for something at school. Then about twice a week, I sit down and just knock those items out. 

(also lol at my algorithm for just sending me this CNN article about Admin Nights)

→ They acknowledged the mental load, this idea that even if time was perfectly managed and efficient, there’s just the weight of thinking for all the things. 

No notes. It just is. 

→ And my favorite surprise take away from their answers is this: Because they are so intentional with their time, most say that if they were to retire, their life wouldn’t change that much. 

From Martha: “If I were to retire, my life would lack purpose. I love my job so much. If I didn't have to worry about money, I'd get more training and beef up what I'm doing even more so.” 

So, it sounds like this ability to enjoy life now and not just in retirement boils down to creating a sustainable schedule with both margin and meaning.

That’s not so hard, right? 🫠

-Callie

🪩 A Book Update 🪩

I got the sweetest endorsements from two of my favorite authors—Allen Levi and Lisa Wingate—and the book is officially up for preorder. Check that out here »

https://www.calliemurray.com/

I’ll send a big email in a month or so with all kinds of book launch thoughts and requests. Get ready!